BDSM, yes I said it.
In a raw and honest moment I told my husband of almost 20 years my desire for this type of relationship. As I nervously twirled my hair, he questioned my request. He probably thought i had lost my mind, as he stared deeply into my eyes. I feel at peace that I can let my walls down and surrender my whole self to him. I am devoted to him and only him. I want to be a better wife, I want to truly know his desires, I yearn to feel his masculinity like when we met and for him to unleash his power over me. I had come to a place where I had the faith and trust I could give the gift of my submission to him. In my mind this is the greatest gift I could give my husband.
With time, my words, research and a ton of discussion we begun to dive deeper into this journey. The gift of my submission to my loving, amazing husband is the trust I have for him to own me, to dominate me, to care for me, teach me and to punish me. In this total power exchange, I give him the greatest love, respect, devotion and ultimate masculine power.
I knew he would, with great precision, dominate me and yet make me feel the greatest love and compassion. I feel oddly safe with his hands around my neck, bound and blindfolded. He knows me so well he can push me to my brink without crossing. He makes me want to be more, be better and give myself to him more.
On a beautiful mountain rim we made the decision that this is our next chapter and to commit to it together as we said our vows. At that moment, we committed to each other that this is not a game, but our journey together to love, respect, cherish and serve one another.
With this new journey comes great reward and consequences. For the first time in my life I feel confident to put his needs and wants before my own. But in doing so, I am free, with a feeling of pride and bliss. I can just be me; his submissive.
Submission is an act that is expressed mutually and voluntarily. Being submissive helps me to be less self-centered and allows me to consider the desires of my Dom. Submission has nothing to do with me being weak, but allows me to be strong enough to open my whole heart to him.
As I continue to learn and grow, I hope that when my Dom sees me, he sees that I am whole heartedly submitting mentally, emotionally, and physically to him.
There we were, standing on the edge.